The Path to Fulfilling and Long-Term Success in Attractive Communications (Part 1)
The Path to Fulfilling and Long-Term Success in Attractive Communications:
Why and how The Game serves as a premier vehicle for acquiring social skills, learning about and improving your emotional insecurities and thriving in life
Developing Elite Social Skills
It’s funny how something as simple and not taken seriously as going to the club, approaching a girl on the street, or going on a date can transform your life.
Without a doubt, learning how to approach women, socialize and intimate with others, and also consistently put yourself in new social situations, greatly accelerates your social acumen and awareness; simultaneously, it exposes you to your buried emotions, which can often hold you back from thriving in so many areas of your life.
As human beings, we’re social creatures, first and foremost. In the same way birds fly, or dogs and cats hear and smell—we socialize. It’s our most accentuated attribute when comparing ourselves to the rest of the animal kingdom. Being good at socializing is as beneficial a skill as any if you’re human. And because socializing is our most beneficial skill, being particularly good at it is especially practical when relating to and attracting others. So it follows that if you’re able to accelerate your social experiences, you will gain effective and attractive social qualities more efficiently. Accelerating one’s social experiences (with an emphasized intent on meeting women), furthermore, is what principally constitutes “the game”.
So what goes into effective and attractive human communication, and more specifically, attractive male communication?
The truth is there are a plethora of factors that go into such a thing, and there are varying orders from which to choose—but for our money, we’re starting with the importance of acting freely in a social situation. The ability to act freely around others is the foundational ground that attractive male communication is built upon.
Acting freely greatly corresponds to one’s ability to communicate confidence, comfort with those around him, leadership ability and self-amusement. In social scenarios, these attributes can broadly translate. For example, you can demonstrate leadership by example by making a morally sound choice in the face of a dilemma; you can also challenge a bully when others are afraid; on the other hand it’s also a form of leadership to proactively ask a girl out in front of others, and even make smooth, benevolent well-timed sexual escalation towards a girl in front of others. They are different forms of leadership that can all trigger social attraction. In other words, leadership can in many ways be understood as intelligent boldness.
Being comfortable with those around you is also something that can be broadly applied. Being comfortable with others means you enjoy, and are not threatened by your social surroundings. It can also mean you look to positively contribute to your social environment; conversely, it can mean you’re capable of tactfully drawing boundaries with those who demonstrate uncaring insensitivity towards you or others.
Confidence is probably the most broad of the terms, though I will list some direct forms of social confidence: it can mean that you have confidence in your intellect, in your social adeptness, or in your sexuality. To be confident in these areas, furthermore, means that you are willing to express all of them freely to others. In other words, I would say being socially confident entails a willingness to put your personality on the line in order to reach and connect with others, which is accompanied by the general belief that you are in fact capable of connecting.
Self-amusement entails the ability to have fun with or without others. This means you like to have fun in social scenarios, but also on your own. When the people around you aren’t being fun, then you create your own fun—whatever gets you in the mood—maybe doing a little dance, maybe noticing or thinking of something funny and laughing, or simply telling a joke. You just like to make things fun, wherever you are. Women find this attribute extremely attractive because it means you are in a good, healthy frame of mind and unaccompanied by worries or negativity (which usually correlates to a poor lifestyle, social isolation, sexual depravation, an inability to compartmentalize and maintain composure, or even bad genes). Without a doubt, there is a reason most men instinctually try to become fun when around women (we have evolved to know the fundamentals of attraction).
Furthermore, when you are able to amuse yourself, you like to bring others into the fun—you want to make others feel good—you are capable of generating good emotions within yourself and you want to share these positive emotions with others. This is what makes you socially enjoyable (which is inherently attractive since we are social creatures). When you are a self-amusing person, moreover, women and people in general feel good around you and so want to be around you.
All of these qualities, when embodied, amount to the idea of a man acting freely within his social environment. Without a doubt, these qualities are extremely necessary for a man to consistently attract a quality woman. The apparent attractiveness of these qualities likely relates to a woman’s evolutionary psychology. On a primal level, women likely find a male’s demonstration of confidence, comfort within his environment, leadership and self-amusement to be attractive because they’re indicators of a man’s ability to thrive in a tribe (this is relevant because we all evolved in tribes). If a man demonstrates these qualities, it makes him more valuable to reproduce with—for, if he can thrive in a tribe, then his family will likely prosper in that tribe. Furthermore, his offspring can inherit these same valuable qualities.
In other words, on an instinctual level, he is found attractive because both his genetics and legacy can better ensure the woman that a pattern of familial prosperity will potentially arise and continue for generations. Indeed, at the evolutionary level, we are programmed to pass our DNA to the next generation, and so these qualities become instinctually valuable to us. Therefore, many of our daily behaviors are dictated by our desire to reproduce with a valuable mate that demonstrates esteemed qualities, for it will better ensure that our DNA continues onward.
A second aspect of demonstrating attractive communications is sub-communicating that you have sexual options.
When you are sub-communicating that you have sexual options, you are essentially broadcasting that you are a desirable mate. Sub-communication can be principally understood as the behavioral signals and vibe you give off when engaging a person. So if a woman senses that, based on the signals and vibe you give off, you are “good with women” and that you have experience with women, she will find you attractive.
Without a doubt, most women are instinctually attracted to this (regardless of what some might say). This is because being comprehensively effective with women indicates that you are not only considered desirable, but that you’re exhibiting a capability of “handling” a woman, her needs and her wants. In other words, it indicates that you understand a woman, her emotions and her psychology. To be sure, evolutionarily and biologically, being desired by other women (similar to acting freely) indicates that you possess high quality genes, as other women consider you worth reproducing with.
When you have sexual options, and are regularly having sex, you are also “free from outcome” when relating to women. Being free from outcome in relation to women essentially means that you’re okay with however an interaction with a girl ends up. Indeed, a man that is free from outcome doesn’t mind if a girl doesn’t want to have sex with him or doesn’t like him, for, he already has women that like him and want to have sex with him.
Indeed, since he is regularly having sex, he isn’t desperate for his interactions with women to lead to sex. Therefore, his expectations towards a given woman aren’t as stringent. This lack of stringency allows him to be himself, how he feels, be at ease and have fun in his interactions. While sex would be great, he is fine either way.
Paradoxically, being free from outcome allows the man to possess and demonstrate more sexual intent, in which he is able to lead the interaction to sex more effectively. This is because he doesn’t fear losing the girl, or missing out on sex if he “messes up”. Indeed, because he already has women in his life, losing the girl would not be a big deal, and so he is able to be more appealingly bold and confident in his physical escalations with her.
This easy-going vibe, coupled with greater freedom to lead and be sexual, allows the woman to have fun, be more at ease herself, and also open her sexuality to the man since she senses, through his sub-communications and intent, that he is used to expressing who he is, leading, and having women be sexual towards him. Furthermore, due to the man being himself, she gets to know him more. This leads to greater interest in who he is, which generates even more attraction. In other words, this naturally fun, lack-of-an-agenda vibe, coupled with the freedom to be sexual and lead, allows her to trust that he is not only a cool guy, but a genuinely desired male.
How exactly do you sub-communicate that you have sexual options?
There is no shortcut to sub-communicating that you have sexual options—you must truly have sexual options. There is no superficial way to consistently present this throughout an interaction because women are exceptional at reading people—particularly men. They can detect pretenders from a mile away. I theorize that, evolutionarily, they need to be able read men well in order to ensure they’re reproducing with men that actually possess high quality genes, and furthermore need to ensure they can trust a man they may isolate themselves with.
Indeed, in order to gauge whom you are upon meeting you, women will often test you to see if you demonstrate inconsistencies or hesitations in your behavior. If a guy goes up to her, she might say something mean or confusing, or not even answer—often in order to see if it will disrupt his focus, confidence, or cause him to act incongruent (demonstrate a misalignment between how he feels, thinks and behaves). If it does, it indicates that she cannot trust him because he is somehow unsure of himself. If he is unsure of himself, furthermore, then she certainly cannot be sure of him.
Sometimes women do not immediately test you, but if without testing you, you start acting inconsistent or hesitant, they may get more proactive. Generally, if you show inconsistencies in your behavior, women will either say they have to leave, start prodding you with questions, or start becoming meaner. Being inconsistent not only communicates that you’re unsure of yourself, but, from the point of view of a woman, it can also come across as creepy. This is because you’re trying to be flirtatious and implicitly proposing sex, but are exhibiting an ineptitude at doing it, which is an indication of being low on the reproductive latter, and possibly socially isolated. Once again, since humans are social creatures—quality social skills and status are essential for instinctual attraction.
[Note: As a reminder, it’s important to remember that anyone can improve their social and flirtatious adeptness—and so when you show an ineptitude at these skills, it’s an indicator that you should try and improve upon them, rather than give up.]
In sum, if you show inconsistencies and/or creepiness in your behavior, woman can get aggressive and reflexively turn you away. Often times, men will interpret this as a girl being unkind—but again, it’s usually because you unknowingly demonstrated inconsistencies and/or creepiness in your behavior. As mentioned, inconsistent and/or creepy behavior causes her to suspect that you are untrustworthy, and her being mean or unkind can cause you to fall back—thus neutralizing you as a threat (be it a threat to her reputation or a physical threat).
Low-Quality vs. High-Quality Men
In my observations, when a girl senses these unattractive behaviors and starts becoming mean, “lower quality men” tend to fall back more easily than “higher quality men”. From a mating perspective, I would broadly describe low vs. high quality men as determined by a man’s quality of life, social skills and sense of status—these qualities are then sub-communicated by the man to the woman.
I think lower quality men fall back more easily than higher quality men because low-quality men fear social repercussion more than high-quality men. They also question what they have to offer, and so persisting to give what they perceive as very little doesn’t make a lot of sense to them. Conversely, higher quality men are socially confident and have fulfilling lives, so they have internalized that they have a lot to offer. Furthermore, they have successful experiences in connecting with women and others in general, which further solidifies their sense of worth.
Thus, to a high-quality man, meanness from a girl isn’t intuitively interpreted as an insult or threat, but instead as an occurrence that likely carries an explanation. It is furthermore an issue that he can potentially resolve. Indeed, he senses it is a contextual circumstance that isn’t to be blown out of proportion. Furthermore, higher quality men usually rebound better from any chastised inconsistency they do exhibit, and come across as less creepy when doing so. This quick rebounding ability and lack of creepiness is due to them being more emotionally consistent and grounded inside, more empathetic, and also decisive in their actions—which communicates social skills and confidence.
I believe higher quality men are more decisive because they have better intentions than lower quality men. Since they feel good about their intentions, they feel more confident in acting without engaging in self-doubt. To have better intentions when approaching, flirting with, or “pulling” a woman (taking her home) essentially means to know that one’s advances are meant to positively contribute to a woman’s life. Indeed, a high-quality man isn’t looking to “get lucky”, “bat out of his league” and get a girl that he isn’t worthy of (essentially taking something from the girl without exchanging the same value in return); rather, he sees his advance as an offer to exchange his value for hers, and share a “win-win” experience with the girl. To believe you are giving something of value to a girl in return for her value, as opposed to taking something from the girl without providing an equitable return, is to have better intentions.
In the same way one cannot consistently fake that he has sexual options, neither can he consistently fake his intentions. Once again, your sense of intentions engenders from your “self-quality”, and your self-quality engenders from your lifestyle and social skills. Indeed, women are attracted to a man with a high-quality life. More specifically, they are attracted to a man with a purpose in his life. This, once again, is not communicated by what a man says, but what he does.
Indeed, pay attention to all of your behavioral cues—how do you talk, how do you look at people, how do you walk?
Is it with conviction or uncertainty? Are you focused or inattentive? Decisive or hesitant? Committed to what you’re doing, or wavering? Confident or tentative?
These are the indicators of a man with a purpose versus a man in a downward spiral. It’s the difference between a man with a map, and a wanderer.
Who do you think a woman wants to get on board with?
To be sure, you cultivate these sub-communicative behaviors by creating a lifestyle that nurtures them. This means finding enjoyable hobbies, friends, a self-sustaining income, passions, and putting in the effort to meet women so you understand the core elements of attraction—which can lead to fulfilling sex and relationships. This, in sum, amounts to an increase in life quality, social skills and sense of status (the characteristics of a high quality man). Moreover, these habits give rise to the way you walk, talk and carry yourself around others (sub-communicating that you have a purpose).
Indeed, all of these lifestyle habits make you more socially desirable. To reiterate, we are social creatures first and foremost. So, when our overall lives improve, it improves our sense of worth amongst others. In other words, improved living automatically translates into some form of social confidence. Consequently, given that humans instinctually value distinguished social assets, you are inherently offering something of worth to a girl by cultivating healthy lifestyle habits for yourself (because it carries over into more appealing social behaviors). On the other hand, when your overall lifestyle is of low quality, it can adversely impact your sense of worth, and furthermore, it tends to emanate from you. While you may initially be able to put up a front, the front will eventually slide off of you and the girl will sense that you’re either not happy, not confident, lonely or without direction.
[Note: Women can also be attracted to men that do not have a thriving life or sense of purpose. Usually, men that can attract women despite having less fulfilling lives possess the qualities of acting freely (and all of its attributes), are clear in their intentions and have great social acumen. They do not plan for a long or successful life and so psychologically do not rely on developing one in order to feel sexually acute and desired, and moreover be sexually (i.e. reproductively) successful.
In evolutionary psychology, this would be understood as “short-term mating strategy”. To reiterate, short-term mating strategy essentially means reproducing (having sex) as much as possible because you don’t anticipate a long or successful life. Furthermore, evolutionarily, this gives a short-term mating strategist the best chance to pass his DNA on before passing away.
There are many men, however, who, due to their environment or internal instincts, seek out a “long-term mating strategy”, in which they instinctually desire a long-term plan for acquiring mates. Generally, men who have long-term mating strategies need to be developing their lives and seeking a purpose in order to feel sexually acute and desirable (and therefore be sexually successful).
While you can attract women by becoming a short-term mating strategist, this essay is attempting to outline the most fulfilling, long-term path to attractive communications. Indeed, I am making the case that one can thoroughly meet, date and have sex with women while simultaneously developing a fulfilling life with a long-term life plan. Furthermore, I argue that this is the best path to choose for long-term, consistent success with women because it generates more baseline stability in one’s life. This baseline stability allows a man to maintain his dating and social endeavors without interruption (due to poor finances, depression, etc.).
Following this path also allows a man to better cultivate his emotional health, since he is generating an overall lifestyle of upward growth. Indeed, through a lifestyle of upward growth, he is becoming more successful in a variety of areas in his life, which causes him to feel more radiant and vibrant. Lastly, this stability, emotional growth, and vibrancy helps him become more open to others around him, allowing him to cultivate better relationships—these relationships make him more fulfilled and less needy, causing him to be more attractive to women, but really people in general.]
Attractive communications also involve sexual communication. If you are great at sex, it indicates several desirable qualities. Most obviously, it indicates you can please a woman. The ability to please a woman, though, means being in touch with what turns her on and what makes her orgasm. It means feeling what positions she likes, where she likes to be touched and what will set her off—without her having to say it. Sure, sometimes you can tell by how she reacts, but other times, you simply feel where she needs to be touched without any conventional communicative indicators being conveyed.
This does not mean there aren’t deeper indicators being conveyed. It is a different kind of indicator. Indeed, sexual communication is very much felt, and requires an openness between the two people involved. While you need to be emotionally and sexually open in any form of communication with women, you need to be especially emotionally and sexually open when having sex.
When you are “open”, you allow yourself to feel the other person more—her emotions, her thoughts, her desires. Being open also makes it easier for you to become aroused and erect. Moreover, when you’re open, it’s also easier for your instinct to kick in and know what to do. Should you go in assertively or gently? Should you ease her into a position, or put her in a position? When you’re open—you just know—and you don’t think about it—you just do.
Being open is not only about feeling the girl, but also feeling yourself. What turns you on? What do you crave from the girl? What kind of sexual experience do you want to create? You need to learn about your sexuality, what turns you on and what feels good to you. This requires self-exploration through masturbation, and through sexual experiences with women. It also requires an effort to achieve self-acceptance and an acceptance of others. This self-acceptance and acceptance of others is a big part of being able to open up to people and also let them in. Furthermore, it’s essential for having notable emotional and sexual connections with women.
While sexual ability can be partially innate, it’s also a skill. Given that it’s a skill, exhibiting refined sexual skill communicates that you have experience with women. This, furthermore, communicates that other women have found you worth having sex with. Once again, when you can sub-communicate that you are desired by other women and furthermore deeply understand women (emotionally, sexually, psychologically, etc.), you become more attractive. In other words, sub-communicating that you are experienced with women indicates that you are of high status.
Being skilled at sex also demonstrates to the woman that you are in touch with your masculinity. To be sure, great sex usually requires assertiveness on the part of the man. The man generally needs to set the sexual tone and lead. Being able to do so indicates that you know how to be a man in a sexual situation—and just as importantly, treat her like a woman. Indeed, the demonstration of strong masculinity within the most intimate form of human interaction is extremely attractive to a feminine woman.
By immersing yourself in cold approach pickup, in which you’re increasing the amount of interactions that you’re having, and furthermore putting sizable efforts into understanding how to attract and create relationships with women, you consequentially increase your chances for sex. This, over time, allows you to get better at sex. Not only does your sex life get better, and thus your quality of life, but you also learn about yourself sexually. This self-understanding allows you to communicate more attractively and effectively on this incredibly intimate level (sex). Furthermore, this self-understanding also allows you to communicate more attractively and effectively in your general life.
[Note: If you are not great at sex, this should not be a deterrent to pursuing it. In order to get good at sex, you need to have sex—and you need to have a humble starting point. Beyond that, you shouldn’t assume that just because you’re not skilled at sex, it somehow means that you have nothing to offer the girl on the sexual level.
First of all, we are all programmed to have sex—so you’re allowed to have it. Additionally, if you are a sane, well-intentioned man, then you are of inherent value. You should therefore have even more reason to feel entitled to sex. That being said, your value expands and solidifies when you are making efforts to improve your life. Thus, by understanding that biologically, a man following a path of improvement generates self-worth, social desirability and female attraction, you will have even more to offer, and furthermore, have a better chance at having sex consistently. Indeed, the more you follow a path of improvement—be it social, intellectual or economic—the more consistently you will attract high-quality women (HQ women will not be attracted to you for your money, but because you are making a life for yourself).]
Empathy and Self-Awareness
Beyond sexual communication, great communicative abilities require great self-awareness. The more self-aware you are, the more empathetic you can be. Empathy is key to being able to relate to and understand others—and this certainly includes the opposite sex. Self-awareness also provides you the ability to express your inner thoughts and feelings, allowing you to connect with others on a deeper level.
What’s more is that, if you can connect with others on a deeper level, you will experience them as people more fully. This fuller experience leads to greater emotional fulfillment. Being able to forge deep connections can also lead to higher quality friends and relationships, which also leads to emotional fulfillment. When one is emotionally fulfilled, moreover, he is generally less needy.
This lack of neediness makes him more attractive to others, since needing nothing from others makes a person more likely to be giving off “good energy”, and less likely to be extracting validation (approval of one’s value) from others. People, moreover, are attracted to those who don’t appear conniving or selfish—and neediness often compels individuals to take on more manipulative tactics to get others into their lives. These tactics are intended to feed their social and emotional hunger—two areas needy people are lacking in. Indeed, attractive communications exist on nearly every level of the human experience—including the behavioral, sexual and emotional levels.
Being able to connect with people also allows you to appreciate them more. Sometimes, when guys are trying to get good at talking to women, or having sex with women, their experience is rather hollow. It feels empty and doesn’t give them as much fulfillment as they thought it would. This is often because they’re not appreciating the actual person they’re talking to or having sex with. Indeed, “getting the girl” instead becomes a chore, and the girl becomes an accomplishment to be had.
Some might argue that there’s nothing wrong with goal setting and gaining accomplishments, but I’d argue that if this gets in the way of connecting with the girl and sharing yourself with her, that your accomplishments in the game will not be as rewarding. Once again, people are chiefly social, and so need to feel connected to the people they are engaging, regardless if it’s a one night stand, instant date or long-term relationship.
Sometimes when men hear something “gushy” like this, they think it can be counter to the kind of advice they’re looking for. On the contrary, you can feel like this and nevertheless be confident, assertive, physical, non-needy and cool. Moreover, you can still come into a set (an approach) and say something off the wall, challenging, interesting or sexually explicit. You can also be wild in bed. However, if you’re doing it from a place in which you appreciate the girl and are looking to positively connect, rather than simply run through a drill and use her as a pawn in your life blueprint—then you will find that you will not only feel better, but also have more consistent, long-term success in your interactions with women.
As mentioned, women can deeply sense a man’s intentions and his sense of self. If a man’s intentions are to use her, she will likely sense this and shy away or lash out. But if a man wants to have sex with her because he’s attracted to her, wants to share an experience with her and appreciates who she is, then he is more likely to become attractive in the woman’s eyes, for he seems like a real person, and someone she can open up to—both sexually and emotionally. This form of socializing with women is the path to consistent success and, moreover, emotional fulfillment through cold approach pickup.
[Note: There is nothing wrong with goal setting provided it’s not in the form of using anyone. It should instead be in the form of benevolent experimentation, in which you playfully try things in order to improve the connection between you and the girl, which consequently improves your ability to connect with girls in general. For example, say you simply don’t know when to go in for a kiss—then, within the context of flirtation and connecting with the girl, it’s fine to go in for kisses in order to better understand at which emotional points of the interaction it is best to go in for one (in essence, engaging in calibrated and benevolent trial and error). On the other hand, you don’t want to go in for the kiss because you need to fill a sexual void in your life, and then make it a goal to fill that sexual void with every girl you interact with. This is not only needy, but also non-contributory in providing value to her. Usually, a girl will sense that you are trying to use her for your void and likely reject you. Once again, it’s about your intentions.]
Besides personal awareness, there is awareness of the behaviors of others. Understanding social cues, others’ motives, and having the ability to anticipate what comes next in a social situation are all very important in nearly every aspect of human life. The ability to understand what’s going on around you, the ability to work and deal with what’s going on around you, and the ability to understand people’s intentions are not only important for general socializing, but also key to seducing a woman in a social situation.
Indeed, understanding the behaviors and intentions of others allows you to manage logistics. Logistics in game involves knowing the details of a social environment (or various social environments if you are changing locations) and using that knowledge to your benefit when trying to make plans with a girl or group. Logistics in game can also involve knowing whom the girl is with, which entails knowing who her friends are and who are in fact strangers pretending to be friends (in a nightclub or bar, some guys will pretend to be a girl’s friend or boyfriend in order to cockblock you or get the girl instead of you).
Logistics also involve knowing the girl’s plans for the night or why she’s out in the first place. A girl can be out for many reasons—she may be celebrating with a bachelorette party, hanging with old friends, out with her boyfriend, etc.). This information helps you figure out how to get her or her group of friends to hang out with you, in hopes of eventually bringing her home, or out on a date. Knowing logistics also translates to daygame. Is she leaving town right now? Meeting a friend? Going to work? Does she have a free day? This likewise lets you know what variables you’re dealing with—which better informs you on how to act when interacting with her, in the ultimate hopes of getting her on a date or back to your place.
While gauging a girl’s plans can help you understand how to calibrate your interaction with her, you still get most of your information through sub-communications. You can often tell how available a girl truly is by her body language, how she looks at you, what she was doing when you approached her and how she is responding to your approach. On the other hand, when reading sub-communications and how emotionally responsive a girl seems to be, it’s also important to internalize that you can “flip” her at any point, in which, by talking with you, she warms up and eventually becomes interested in getting to you know you— even though she was originally uninterested. Moreover, given the fact that a girl can change her mind at any point, you should never use her initial disinterest as an excuse not to persist. Indeed, appealing persistence is the integral element to flipping a girl following her initial disinterested, or even cold, reaction to you.
In that vain, it’s also important to ensure that logistics do not help you rationalize in not persisting to get the girl. For example, in daygame, if a girl insists that she can’t hang out with you because she is meeting a friend, this should not mean that you stop the interaction and give up on the set. If you are interesting and persistent enough, she can be sufficiently intrigued to change her plans. Indeed, this happens often.
If you do ever find yourself rationalizing yourself out of sets, and are having a hard time pushing through your emotional resistance, try and reverse-rationalize yourself out of it. For example, if you were talking to a girl that you were very intrigued by, and the option to hang out with her was open then and there—would you not change plans to do so? Don’t you think your friend would understand? And if he somehow didn’t understand at that moment, don’t you think the tension over it could be resolved later? Furthermore, has a girl never flaked on you? Do you think she’s flaking you because she’s actually “sick”? Sometimes that can be the case, but more often than not she’s ditching you for some more intriguing plans.
So, despite her logistics or sub-communications, you can indeed convince a girl to change her plans and hang out with you instead. To be sure, using logistics and gauging a girl’s emotions should serve as an aid to managing the set, not ejecting from it. At times, logistics and gauging emotions can help you find out that a set is undeniably going nowhere, but you want to be careful that this is actually the case, and not you rationalizing yourself out of it because persistence makes you uncomfortable (as it does for some guys).
Understanding the behaviors of others, their intentions and being able to anticipate what comes next also adds to your ability to gain the girl’s, or her group’s, genuine trust. To be sure, this skill helps you read what they’re feeling and thinking about you (e.g. reading their face, what they say, their tonality when speaking to or about you), allowing you to adjust in real time. Indeed, reading their faces, what they say, and their tonality also helps you see why they specifically don’t trust you, allowing you to provide them with more calibrated and precise assurances of your benevolent and fun intentions, and moreover that you’re a fun, yet safe person to associate with.
In other words, being aware of others’ behaviors and motives is integral to gaining the girl’s genuine trust and extracting her from an environment (taking her home or getting her on a date). The quality of understanding people’s behaviors, motives and intentions, combined with acting freely, having empathy, being in touch with your emotions and sexuality, being behaviorally consistent, and having a good lifestyle and good intentions, make for an extremely high quality man that is well versed in attractive communications.
To be sure, in the game (which again is accelerated socialization through the vehicle and lens of cold approach pickup), all of these important qualities are greatly improved upon all of the time (assuming you are consistently developing these skills). Without a doubt, the simple act of learning how to communicate with women by presenting your sexuality to them, taking initiative by approaching them in a variety of circumstances, consistently developing connections and relationships, and then efficiently stacking these social experiences, all lead to greater social freedom, leadership qualities, capacity for empathy, social awareness and sexual intuition. Furthermore, putting consistent effort into cold approach pickup, and incrementally improving in these areas each time you do, may very well be the fastest route to becoming socially advanced.