Going in for the "100% Kiss"
This is about going in for the kiss when the girl is not showing commitment to the kiss.
When you go in for a kiss and the girl does not go in for it with you - that is to say, she does not show an immediate response and holds back from also going in for the kiss - it is because she is sometimes expecting you to go 100% of the way through.
She is essentially expecting you to make the complete commitment to the kiss, without bearing any responsibility of her own.
She wants to make the least amount of commitment possible.
[Note: This translates in a number of ways within a male-female pickup interaction, but it includes the kiss.]
A lack of commitment to the kiss often happens in cases in which the girl just met you.
This doesn’t mean she doesn't want to kiss. Provided you’re at that moment, she often does - but because of female psychology, she might not want to come across as the sexually proactive, or even complicit party within the interaction (this can happen, in which she is the proactive party, but it’s far more rare).
Indeed, she’ll still go with it - but she needs you to make that 100 percent commitment and take that responsibility away from her (she doesn’t want to feel like a “slut”, even though she wants this sexual escalation as well).
So, with that understanding, you simply want to make sure you are not discouraged by her inaction, which you might interpret as a lack of interest. Instead you want to calmly and smoothly go in 100 percent of the way, thereby taking the responsibility so she doesn’t have to.
Of course, if you are nervous or seem uncomfortable - or sub-communicate that you are seeking her approval as you keep going in for her lips (while she is, as mentioned, holding back from committing herself), then she might pull back and decline the kiss (she will only kiss you if you maintain your center, certainty and confidence while going all of the 100 percent).
How does one successfully go in 100 percent while maintaining center, certainty and confidence?
In regards to feeling, one essentially requires the ability to be very grounded, present and comfortable with whatever happens.
This basically means that you feel comfortable in your body, benevolently lack concern with the result of your attempt and are calmly alert and focused.
By being comfortable in your body, you communicate general comfort, which women are attracted to. By being comfortable with whatever happens (more or less indifferent to the result of your attempt), you are free from the outcome, which gives you an underlying calmness in your vibe (also attractive). By being calmly present, or alert and focused, you possess the ability to zero in on the subtleties of the interaction, and are able to communicate and escalate on a much sharper level (this also communicates to the woman that you are out of your head and unhesitant). Cumulatively, possessing and exhibiting these behaviors allows you to communicate and connect with the girl on a much higher level - physically, emotionally, and sexually — thereby allowing you to successfully go for the kiss at a much higher rate. Indeed, beyond these being attractive qualities to women, and also allowing you to communicate at a higher level - they are also highly beneficial in executing a 100 percent kiss when the woman is not showing escalatory commitment.
This grounded, comfort within your body, freedom from outcome and focus allows you to stay smooth, committed and genuinely unwavering as you go in for the kiss, from 0 percent all the way to 100 percent.
Being grounded specifically, when going for the kiss, is key because it causes you to not do certain things.
It allows you to not, in essence, extend out of yourself as you go in.
When you’re extending out of yourself, you’re essentially not in your center and kind of straining and reaching for the kiss, rather than comfortably and smoothly doing it from a grounded, calm center. When you are comfortably and smoothly going in for the kiss from a grounded center, it communicates that you’re doing something natural. Something that your body is used to. The girl can read this naturalness and comfort through your sub-communications (comfort, naturalness, smoothness and experience indicators are all attractive to women, as I have wrote in Part 1 of Autonomous Dominion & Comfort).
What does this 100 percent kiss look like?
It looks like you’re gliding towards her lips - closing the distance percentage by percentage, taking your time if you want, going in a little faster if you want - relying on your own pace while paying attention to her cues of increased interest or waning interest (through facial expression and feeling), and calibrating your speed depending on that as well.
These internal calculations are all happening in the blink of an eye - and therefore, to possess the ability to effectively make these calculations requires practice (i.e. repetition and trial and error). Most of the time, it is only through mistakes and repeatedly going through this experience first hand, that you better know how to act and what to expect (assuming this does not come natural to you).
Indeed, since this kind of behavior emanates from a place of comfort - you need to practice in order to feel truly comfortable in executing a 100 percent kiss (since practice engenders comfort). So the first thing on your agenda should be accumulating experiences in which you are going for a lot of kisses on dates, instant dates or pulls. This is the case for everyone, but even more so for someone that is not naturally good at communicating with women or people in general. A high EQ, and learning tips and techniques through a legitimate source can also help - but regardless, you need to practice.
It is essential.
Practice provides experience. Experience means you have been there before and thus know what to do - there is therefore no shortcut to consistent success in this arena, just as any other (basketball, violin, coding, etc.).
To be sure, this experience, know-how and centeredness is what, in part, allows you to go in fully and be successful at doing it.
Masculine and Feminine
By executing this successfully to its entirety, a man is essentially exhibiting his understanding and acceptance of his masculine role and the girl’s feminine role.
When a girl doesn’t want to go in for the kiss at all, she is, in many ways, retracting into her full feminine self and essentially requiring you to go into your full masculine self in order for the interaction to be sexually successful.
[Note: As mentioned, this retraction into the “full feminine” on her part is partly calibrated to the context of the interaction, in which you are escalating faster than men that do not have these ambitions, confidence and/or skills do.
However, the ability to successfully escalate not only ensures your chance of seeing her again (this will help her find you inherently sexual and therefore attractive), but also the chance that she will interpret her relationship with you as sexual, rather than that of a friendship. If you wish to take it slow you can - however, it is not necessary, and sometimes not practical if you seek to set a sexual dynamic between the two of you.
It is often better to demonstrate an intent to be sexual, even if you are not smooth at it, so as to exhibit your benevolent sexual intentions. So, if you go in for the kiss and are not appealing and she rejects it - it is actually better than not going in for the kiss at all - because if you don’t then she will not experience a sexual side to you - and therefore think of you in a less sexual light.]
What does it mean to be consistently comfortable, centered, moving within yourself?
How is that accomplished?
As I’ve mentioned in my previous blog, consistency in mood, emotions and therefore results is a result of a strong foundation of habits and practices.
Not only do you need to have personal habits and practices (hobbies, exercising and working on your body, working on your mind [yoga, meditation, reading]) - but you also need to have strong relationships and connections with people.
Expound upon having strong relationships and connections with others.
It means having women in your life that want to see you, having people in your life that genuinely love you, and also loving other people. It means selflessly sharing your passion with others.
Having a strong foundation of hobbies and practices, which thus contribute to consistently strong moods and emotions, which help you stay comfortable, centered and moving within yourself while going in for a 100% kiss, also emanates from having economic stability.
As I mentioned in part 2 of Autonomous Dominion & Comfort, I think men that are economically stable and/or potent create natural biological attraction between themselves and women.
There is no question in my mind that disciplined men who hone their habits and practices outside of money further consolidate this natural commanding allure that women find attractive.
What this essentially materially manifests as is a form of gravity, in which women are drawn into the man, simply due to the commanding energy he gives off. It just comes from him, without him extending himself or reaching for the woman’s attention.
The more you hone your habits and practices, gain greater economic stability and/or potency, and additionally develop your skills in interacting with and relating to women on the social, emotional and sexual planes - the more attractive command you will have, and thus the more gravity you will emanate. Women will be drawn into you and feel comfortable - wanting to be open and free around you - they will find you desirable on an instinctual, seemingly unexplainable level.
How does gravity play into going in for the 100% kiss?
Because gravity makes the woman drawn to you, going in for a kiss when a woman retracts into her full feminine (i.e. she won’t help you close the gap when you go in for the kiss), but is still drawn to your high level of gravity, makes the locking of the lips and escalation afterwards more natural and unavoidable in its occurrence - she is simply drawn into your intent.
Because having great gravity is the result of honing so many skills and habits, and requires so much discipline, effectively honing these things logically generates a higher degree of internal confidence in a man.
Confidence leads to greater “game” in general - and when one is operating confidently, everything he says or does is done more effectively. Behaviorally, confidence manifests in many ways. A confident man is usually more calm, demonstrative when he wants to be, smooth, and also more decisive. Social hesitation and fear of decisiveness is the utmost indicator of an unconfident man. Thus, women, who are quite attracted to confidence, find hesitation and indecisiveness to be particularly unattractive.
[Note: Decisiveness is also a masculine behavior - and so to be decisive in the presence of a feminine woman also creates tremendous polarity between the two of you - and therefore attraction.]
Thus, when you are going in for that kiss, and are feeling more confident, you are going in with more decisiveness and less hesitation. As mentioned, women are naturally attracted to decisiveness and are generally sexually repelled by hesitation - so the ability to go in for the kiss decisively, without sub-communicating indecisiveness and uncertainty in your face or body, makes the woman feel comfortable in accepting your advance. This is because she interprets your actions and sub-communications are conveying that you are a high-quality man.
Later, I will go into how confidence and gravity assist in one’s closing ability, one’s ability to be sexually decisive, feeling rightful to women amongst your temporary community (the group you are currently immersed in) and your general ability to feel more sexually potent due to the gravity and confidence you cultivated through development of habits, practicing game and making money.